i am a protest
Wassap my lovelies!
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about time, healing and pressure. We put so much pressure on ourselves to keep up, but who is holding the timer? Whose race are we running and what’s the prize? It comes from a lot of self-inflicted pressure to keep “doing” as I mentioned in my last post. This forced patch of slowing down, stillness and quietness. Why was I rushing to keep up pace?
I had felt like I was falling behind but I keep coming back to the question… who am I racing?
And yes, this also taps into an ongoing embrace of surrender and co-creation, the delicate balance of the two and the tension that arises when one is off kilter. Like a pendulum, the harder we push in one direction, the harder the fall back. Which will happen to keep the balance! The best we can do is have the tools in place to catch us if this does happen… or to manage our energy better between surrender and co-creation.
Anyway… this week I was looking over some old poems and I felt the need to share this one from July last year. Feel free to comment or message me with any thoughts. I love an open dialogue.
I’ll be relaunching my “I Am” writing workshop soon lovelies.
I am a protest
Defined by the line between you and I
Polarised by pain pushed aside by pride
You can’t take away my voice
Take away my choice
Take away my identity
The essential core of my sovereignty
Without a thrash back
Silent or vocalised
I am protest in surprise
I am love inside a protest
Loving myself like a test
When I was taught
“You are unlovable”
Watch me love myself
When I was taught
“People are unloving”
Watch me love others
You spoke as if you knew all
But ego is the destroyer
Of true knowledge
So you listen up
You're no saint
I'm no a sinner
I am protest
Look behind
Have you seen her
But have you seen her
See, her
Over there
Where you left her
Defined by the line you drew in sand
Except it hardened over time
Where lines grow
Cracks show
And a weakened bond deepens
Polarity that keeps blood apart
Like a knife dragged through flesh
Blood parts way
A brutal escape from the case
That once contained it
My knife is your time
Taking away all that was mine
Taking away my voice
My choice, my pride
Lying trapped behind a vessel of shame
Your time pierces my heart
But blood bursts forth in a furious cry
I WILL BE HEARD
Watch as I smear my red across the sky
In echoes of screams and shouts
In echoes of truth free from doubt
In echoes of heart pumping blood
Heart pumping love
A heart freed from pain
By tearing through old wounds let loose
By tearing apart old lies for truth
I AM A PROTEST
An earth shattering war cry that erupts from my chest
Befalls a silent space
I take a breath
Eyes widen in horror for the bloodbath shocks
And I witness these onlookers
See me with new eyes
"Surprise" I whisper, a sarcastic smile
I am a protest
Defined by the line between you and I
For all that you are
I carved myself not
For all that you are
I became polarity
For all that you are
It defined me
And that's the saddest part
In my pursuit of freedom
In my pursuit of choice
A voice
Identity
In this defiant act
In this protest
I lost hold of her
Over there
And became identified as
Opposite of you
And not just me
And so inside this protest
That I am
I see now there was never a line
But a back against myself
And inside my protest
Was her
Over there
Who wanted to be loved
I take the time I call knife
And carve my chest open
Teasing a wounded heart through
Jagged breast bones
I hold it beating bloody in my hands
A moment to witness my beauty
My love battery battered by
Fighting when she needed love
I take it from my chest
Place it in her hands
Her, over there
"Surprise" I whisper, a tear falls
She takes my heart
Filling it with love
And I fall still finally
Peace at last
In a moment of gratitude
I look to her
And sigh
"What was your name?"
"Time" she whispers, a sarcastic smile
And I understand
I am a protest
Love in protest.
Sending so much love,
A